WHO IS JONNY? A designer. >This graphic designer, however, has enough courage and vision to change the way most people look at art. His perception of art is echoed in his photography, and has been doing commerical artwork since he was 6. This is his website. Look into his world, and look into his philosophy. He's not just going to show you his work, he will show you his life. I'm currently working as a freelance Art Director and Graphic Designer for an advertising agency, an events company and the occasional CD design. If you want to find out more, email me on jonny@jonnyclark.com. LOMOTASTIC! >My new love thing. It's small, black, and fit's in my pocket. It's lomographic society's LCA (Lomo-Compact-Automatik) Camera. And takes these blurry soft focus, eastern european 80's feel images. MUSIC >Still in talks to work on a new CD cover for an international release with a new artist. Keep your eyes peeled.

Jonny and himself -a quick overview

Trained in computer animation and graphic design, i have a tendancy to be a bit creative at the best of times, making the most out of what i am given. This reflects in my life, no matter what the situation, i make the most of it. I am a man of few principles and the ones that i do hold dear to me, are the most simple and broad minded principles that ground me in my life. I have fun, i enjoy all that life throws at me, good and bad. If we didn't have bad times, how could we possibly know what good times were? I am a strong believer in enjoying my life, and one of the ways i do this is by making others happy, my one true principle. For me it's been far too long that people were wrapped up in their own worlds. You aren't the most important person on the train. What means you should have the seat and leave others to stand? Aren't we all born equal?

I am now grounded, an adult in all ways. My mind is focused and determined and i have no fears of failure or success, as long as what i do is enjoyable and is to the best of my ability. Things are looking up for me and i'm ready to take on any challenge or new situation that is thrown at me.

Enough psycho analysing of the world as it is. I suppose all in all i'm your average guy, with your average life. With above average friends without whom my life wouldn't be what it is now. Let's make the most of what we've got. eh?

30/08/04 Jonny in LA - happily ever after?

So there he was. Sitting on the bed, everything i could ever ask for in a man. A pure vision of beauty and intelligence, a mixture of culture and creativity. A real man, swimming in a sea of plastic. A man who's outlook on life was everything i wanted mine to be. I never thought I would meet then man that haunted my dreams, and never thought i would meet him on the other side of the planet. And there lies my situation.

I'm falling for a man i don't even know yet. I'm falling, outside of reason, for this dream. There is little i can offer such an awe inspiring man. He's well read, well educated, and wise beyond those around him. His social life is impressive, and his friendly nature makes him all the better around such fake and artificial care that he lives in. And then there is me, a creative individual i'll admit, but i fear very much i'm everything that he isn't looking for in a man. There is little i can offer, apart from my love, my devotion and my heart. Yet the question lies, not in myself, but in him. Where can this go. Would he be willing for me to up my roots to follow him around the world, or would he find such a suggestion too much a pressure on him.

I guess you can't choose who you fall for. This is very much evidence of that. I guess i can see, for the first time, i will get my heart broken. But to be honest, i couldn't think of a better man to get it broken by. I will always wish the best for this guy, no matter what the outcome is. He very much deserves the best in life, as i hope people would treat him as he treats them. With trust, honesty and love.

Actively searching or passively waiting. -what position do you prefer?

It's a common misconception, that outgoing people go out and hunt, while shy people wait for things to happen to them. I don't think I quite know where I stand. Active or passive. No, this isn't a sex thought.... it's currently me trying to analyse what the hell I'm doing right now. I'm about to break the age barrier. into double double double figures (you work it out) yet I’m no closer to actually knowing what I want out of life. I'm the man with many fingers in the pies. I'm metaphorically obese with talents. I need to go on a 'talent' diet.

I guess I blame my parents, they were always pushing me to work harder, seek more knowledge, experience more than just a normal life. Then again, who am i to say what is normal. I'm 22. A young, successful gwm (gay white male), in theory, and in the governments eyes, I'm untouchable. In a league where the world should bend to my every need and plates of success should be literally handed to me on a frequent basis. Breakfast noon and dinner.

In real life, I'm fasting. Not a single dish of creative nourishment is heading my way. I guess I'm active. Yet my go-get approach gets me no closer to any goal. If I take a passive role I feel lazy, over fed and unhappy. I need to hunt, but the more I hunt, the less successful I will be. Let me explain my dilemma. Say I apply for 20 jobs, (which I have) and none of them offer me a job (which they haven't), then I'm 20 times disheartened. But, if I sit back and wait for a job to come to me, when I haven't hunted for any, I instantly succeed... so no disappointment AND more importantly, I have a job.

"What you are looking for is in the last place you look."

What are you. Active? or Passive?

Jonny and Iceland -a view from above the arctic circle

It's funny how we think we've got life sorted. Then a giant fucking life changing experience comes and punches you in the face, slaps you on the arse and says "Sorry Missy!" and kicks you in the right direction.

This is my Iceland experience. I don't know how to put it, simply because i don't know what it is i'm meant to put into words. All i know is my fragile frame of a mind was pulzerised into mush and reshaped into a bold and striking landscape. Just like that of the Ice flows and glaciers that sporadically decorate this stark and barren volcanic land, like Christmas lights on a nordic spruce.

You should try going on a trip with 6 gay men and a girl. It's an experience, and one i'd gladly do again. It's like a holiday with the 7 deadly sins. I'm happy with my life. I found that out - but something is evidently missing as i came to mind yesterday. I was looking out on the amazing beauty i've been emmersed in.

"How can we love something so much and neglect it for all it has to offer,
How can we have something so beautiful and not want to nurture or see it".

When i first thought it, it was a reflection of the beautiful and ceaseless amazement that covers the planet. The more I thought about it, the more i realised it was deep down meant about the people i have loved.

I guess i realised i'm lonely, no matter who has surrounded me, i'm still lonely. Sometimes i feel like i'm the only person with my head screwed on. Not in a patronising way. I mean it sincerely - and it bugs me. I don't know how to get out of this rutt. I just know it doesn't lie in Relationships anymore. Tomorrow is a new day. One i look on in excitement. For so long i have promised myself change. And been too comfortable in my rutt to do something about it. I feel so refreshed and recharged. I'm ready to take the rest of my life by the horns and push it into the life i've always dreamt of.

Single to an extreme yet never quite alone

At the time of writing this, i have recently split up with Chris. About 2 weeks have passed. Yet those two weeks feel like a lifetime away. I'm back at home. At my dad's. Alone tonight, reflecting on who i am and how i have progressed through life, and how i'm not even far off the start of my adventure. I guess i still am a romantic. However you see it. Probably a lot of the other rambles on this page show that. I know i can be analytical too. But to me, most certainly, romance is not dead. I might make the wrong decisions, or not say the right things. But i follow my heart. And how can you go wrong doing that? The heart gives us life in more than just one way. If i didn't follow my heart, i wouldn't be where i was today.

Amazing friends. Truly. They make me laugh, cry, feel and respect. Friends are the main core of who i am, who anyone is. Friends cause you to react, push you into situations which you love or hate, but ones which fundamentally show you who you really are. And for the friends i have? I couldn't have picked better if i tried. To lucy, my rock in my life, you have shown me more than life itself, your warm loving nature is only masked by your sincerity and complete trust in your friends. I will always love you, more than words could ever describe. To Marisol aswell, not only do you share the samelifestyle, you share who you are with me, and never judge me on my actions. To you aswell, i am indebted eternally. To Martin and Stuart, Two of my most recent, yet most loved friends, your compassion, patience and unadultered attention towards me, has supported me through rough times and troubled waters. Whatever i have, will always be yours. To Jason, words can't describe how much you've supported me, you truly are one kewl dude. And to the Aly&Lynda and Jess? Where would i be without you? My life would be boring, flat, and certainly not as entertaining. You too have shown all the love and loyalty i could ever wish for. Why do i say all this? It makes this sound like a last testament, but to be honest, it's the first. It's important people should express their feelings. Not bottle them up, and expect people to know the truth.

I have had my friends stand by me, through thick and thin, and i know i'm not alone. I will move on, stronger, and better for the experiences i have shared with the people in my life. And not ever change who i am, as there will be someone out there, i can feel it. Who i won't have to change, nor want to change for. They will except me for who i am as much as i them. Everything else is immaterial. I've been through some rough patches, but this is a testament, to those who have stood by me. Thank you. Simply, thank you.

Shattered Illusions -online dating?Which is it to you, a glass slipper or a broken promise?

Online dating is one of the most interesting mediums for trying to find true love. It can also be one of the weirdest. When I introduced my mother to the Internet a few years back she could hardly use a mouse, waving it about in the air, not quite understanding the principles of technology. Nowadays she’s happy cruising the chat rooms on the World Wide Web for the love of her life, going a far a field as San Fransisco and Hawaii, where she has met the current love of her life without even meeting the guy, let alone seeing a photograph of the man in question.

Has the way we approach love changed so much in this age of the cyber romance? Is it really possible to love someone without even knowing their real name and referring to them as cyber_hung_25? When I was just a young teenager, the internet was my only portal into the gay world. Now it’s part of my everyday life. It used to be a chance for me to glimpse into a world that was scary and daunting, without leaving the safe haven of my bedroom. It could inform me, educate me, excite me without even having to speak to someone on the phone. Now I use it to communicate with my friends!

It’s a sad fact that I wonder how people met before they had the Internet. Was it really possible? Do people now have shorter relationships because now it is easier to catch a boyfriend on the net than in real everyday life? You can dip your rod into the ‘proverbial’ net, and hook a pre-selected mail order boyfriend in minutes.

There are several sites I’ve been on, all three major London ones, ‘OutintheUK.com’ ‘Jaketm.org’ and to my embarrasement ‘Gaydar.co.uk’. All three of them work off the same principal. You search photos, see one you like and instantly strike up a conversation. It has even reached the level where you can filter out definite no-goes. You can highlight the fact they have blue eyes, like cats, are allergic to fish, are between 6 foot and 6 ft 1”. You can literally whittle down your choices to a select few, find the best looking and end up marrying the guy and have 2.4 kids together. It begs me to ask, when we come to relationships now, are we playing with fire? Or have we lost the spark in finding romance?

To a lot of people, the Internet can also be a local and global cruising ground. No longer will you be caught out by the police, or wait in the rain for hours for some quick shag! You can just hop on to the computer; have a quick look through a list and in 5 minutes, arranged for some hot steamy uncomplicated fun. You can pre-arrange a ‘meet’ in another country before you even fly there, and you’d already know how big his manhood is, and what position he likes the most!

After saying all this though, I have met most of my boyfriends through the Internet, and quite a few, I wouldn’t have met any other way. So where does this leave me? Does this make me some child of the Cyber-love era? Could I have made a relationship work without it? To be brutally honest with myself, I don’t think I could have. So what is it about the Internet that has that magical touch for me?

There is the plus side to meeting someone, or talking to someone without knowing what they look like. You don’t have that instant physical attraction when you talk to someone on the internet, instead you have a mental attraction, which most people, including me, would believe is far more important than the whole physical thing. But if the physical thing is more your cup of tea, there is that side of the Internet too. A vast picture library of people with their shirts off trying to impress you. Very much going back to our primal instincts, trying to display ourselves in desperate want of attracting a mate.

But there is always the problem of ‘false advertising’. Although it hasn’t happened to me yet, my friends have always let me know about the disappointment of meeting someone after chatting to them on the Internet. There is the problem of them not looking anything like their photo, whether it isn’t actually them, or somehow they managed to employ the best photography agent in the land to make them look miraculously infinitely better on the net. Or whether when you meet them, there isn’t the magical spark of wit and humour that you had just hours ago, tapping on a keyboard. Somehow everything dries up. But why do we get let down when we meet people outside of a computer screen?

To me the Internet has been both that ‘broken promise’ and ‘glass slipper’ to me, I have met the occasional ‘unique’ character, and I’ve met some amazing friends and partners. But this is just the beginning! Where do we go from here? What is the future of our dating? Will we never meet our boyfriends? Will we don special outfits so we can make cyber love? Will it just get easier for us to meet people or will we start getting frightened of meeting people in real life? What is the future of online dating?

My advice to you? Go outside, think beyond the box, maybe even try the old way of dating, try a line in a bar, or bump into someone on the street. No one on the net uses the term “So do you come here often…?”

Jonny and his work -or the lack of it!

What is the deal with working. If you ask yourself why you are here. the answer is not to fucking work! The answer is to have fun. do stuff. enjoy your life for what you want to do. Not what has to be done. If you want to live on a beach every day. then why not? If you want to go see the world? Why not. it all boils down to money. But at the end of the day, we all die. We don't die happy knowing we have money. We die happy knowing we have lived.

I don't focus my life on work. I have to do it for now, but it will follow me. I am not going to go out of my way to go do a 9-5'er is some shitty office when i have more important things to do. Finding the perfect rapids. Finding the best sunset. Finding what i want to be and do. (but i do work at GAP part time... maybe that's why i think this way!)

Am i wrong? Or am i right? I think for now i have the right attitude.

Jonny and 9.11 A perspective

Well, it's just over a year now when i've written this, than the dreaded twin tower attack, and i have heard many sides of the coin from my friends and aquaintances, but i believe i have formed my own opinion on this devastating blow to the world. Many people see it as terrorism. It's not. It's a tragic loss of life, and a careless destruction of thousands of families. A lot has happened in the world since i have been born. And a lot of things have upset me, however this blow was like out of a Hollywood blockbuster. To watch the news as it happened one year ago, was a huge wake up call to millions of people. The super power that America is, is not as strong as it likes to believe, and from an outsider looking in, like the United Kingdom has, we have always known that America isn't as strong as it has claimed to be.
But what has filled me with confidence, is the resolve that NYC is going through. New York has had a time to rebuild with what it should have been built with when it first laid it's foundations, those many many years ago. New York to me has always been a busy bustling place, but i have never looked on it as having a soul. Now it does, and those lives that have unfortunately have passed have not passed in vain. As the hundreds of Thousands that live there have seen a new light, and a new way of life ahead of them. Looking at the news now, people have time to stop and talk to each other, they don't just pass each other by, like we do here in London.

It has also made me realise to take a new approach to life, and it's one i take very seriously now, to take each day as it comes, to treat it as if it really were your last. Some people have mentioned to me that they can't comprehend why i trust someone from the word go. To a lot of people we need to build trust, however, life is too short for me to do that. If someone breaks my trust then so be it, but i believe everyone on this earth is born equal, and as equals we should get on together. So from now on, i talk to people in the street, i say "thanks" and "please" and let people go infront. And you know what, it really has made me happier as a person. I wish all the families my support and love and my thoughts go out to everyone that moved on that day.

Jonny and random thoughts -ARGH!

I guess sometimes the world isn't as black and white as we hoped. We are all taught the difference between right and wrong - but when we grow up, there is no right and wrong. Everything is a broad spectrum of grey. Some of us can't handle grey. If a problem appears light, we push it to the white end of the spectrum, and if it's dark, we push it to the other end, with no middle ground. I find it, myself, difficult not to pigeon hole. Something we all do! I want to be able to say that i'm not opinionated and there is no wrong, but when you have told yourself over and over that it is wrong, it ends up with you trying to cheat a habit.
The human race has been blessed by what "they" call 'Rational Thought' but are we really rational at all? Can we think things through logically or does that little switch come on telling us that we believe passionately bias over one view. It's like when you pick a colour for your room. You know exactly what colour you want before you go to B&Q's colour palette. A shop person comes and tells you that you look in Green, You picked the blue, you liked the blue, and you end up buying the blue.

That bloody switch! What is it? How do you control it? It get's us in more trouble than it's worth and you know what...usually in the end, the shop person is right!

Jonny and random thoughts -a lengthy ramble

So Love..?
Love is a difficult one, masters from a thousand years can only reach as far as the bark of the tree of complexity that is the human instict of loving a material object. It is love that makes us thrive, to complete and to start anything we do. It gives us purpose and strength, yet can shatter us to our very nature. Love in that form is just honesty, an honesty with ourselves. From our honesty we find passion and compassion with others and ourselves. A love with another person though? That's something i hope to evolve to understand. I am a 20 year old trying to find a deeper plane to find true emotion. Long gone the days of relationships. I look for more than that.

But love is something you have to be prepared to give everything up to get right. Sometimes what you believe is right with every fibre of your soul could hurt someone else far beyond your comprehension. Love. Beauty, confounded strength, fragile sensitivity. Whatever it is to you.... Enjoy it, for it evolves, changes day by day, enjoy every corner it takes you around!

See more of Jonny here. www.jonnyclark.com